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Wednesday, December 29, 2004

bag girl

Stopped at a light I spotted a young woman struggling with a shopping cart in a parking lot. A wheel was caught in a hole in the pavement. I noticed her long, pretty red hair, somewhat wavy, she was wearing a knit cap and a long dress. She briefly turned to my direction and I was struck by her face, haggard is how I can best describe it. That's when it dawned on me she was much more than an ordinary shopper. She was a "Bag Lady" one of the people that are always amuseingly depicted in TV and movies, except I couldn't feel amused by her predicament.

She appeared to be 30ish and it just doesn't feel right to call her bag lady,"Bag Girl" seems more appropriate because of her age. I wasn't sure whether I should feel sorry for her, the brief peek I got of her eyes made it seem as though she were blissfully unaware that she was in a "predicament" What is it about people like her that captures our imagination? Maybe they have found the true secret to enjoying life, by living a life of abject isolation from the mainstream. Closed off by the customs of our society, sentenced to a place where there is possibly no hope of recovery. Or maybe they just don't know any better. I like to think they are happy with things the way they are, but I am pretty sure I am wrong. What do you think?

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The Monkey and the Cue Ball

A man walks into a bar with a monkey on a leash.

"Hey, Mac, mind if I bring my monkey in? He's well trained and won't bother anyone.

"Sure no problem, what will you have?"

The man orders a beer and looks around, meanwhile the monkey amuses himself on a barstool by sneaking pieces of fruit from the garnish tray on the bar. The barkeeper notices and yells at the man to make the monkey behave. This frightens the monkey and it scampers over to a pool table and picks up the cue ball and swallows it whole.

"Hey, get the hell out of here and take that damn monkey with you too"

A week later the man stops back in to the bar.

"Hey bud, I'm sorry about my monkey eating your cue ball, I will gladly pay for it. Mind if we come in? I promise to make him behave"

"Yeah, I suppose, come on in"

The man settles in with another beer and the monkey perches on the edge of the bar. It was well behaved at first but started getting fidgety and soon enough sneaks a cherry out of the garnish tray. It then bends over and sticks the cherry up it's ass, pulls it out and then eats it!

"Holy mackerel! Did you just see what your monkey did? He stuck that cherry up his ass then he ate it! How disgusting!"

"Yeah he's been doing that ever since he ate that cue ball, tries everything he eats for fit before he eats it."