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Thursday, December 30, 2004

my new years promises

  1. Start drinking again, I have been too darn happy lately and filling my body with depressants is obviously the way to go. Try to get drunk at least twice a day just to make sure I am doing it right.
  2. Start smoking again, I quit 2 years ago and well, I still want one. I will just give in to the craving and enjoy life much less. Hopefully get up to 2 packs a day to get more exercise for my lungs, I haven't been coughing enough.
  3. Eat lots more fatty and high carb food and put on a lot of weight. I hate that smirk on my face when I look in the mirror, getting fat will fix that!
  4. Live more dangerously by uninstalling my anti-virus program that thought it was necessary to update itself for 10 minutes while I was in the middle of typing #3. It cares too deeply for the welfare of my PC and I love that it annoys the hell out of me at least once a day.
  5. Have less sex, being sexually satisfied is waaay overated and frankly bores me to tears.
  6. Be more rude to people I don't know, why should I worry about being pleasant when it's obvious they don't give a damn.
  7. Be more rude to people I do know, that way they will know I at least care enough to go out of my way to be rude.
  8. Be kinder to telemarketers when I am busy making an imaginary $20,000 on Jeopardy reruns and they call and annoy the bejeesus out of me.
  9. Stop leaving comments at people's blogs that I admire so they won't feel so special anymore. I hate when they feel more special than me, so that's gotta stop!
  10. Think more negative, being positive that things will get screwed up is bad for me, from now on I will be negative and know that things will not work out badly.

Just Kidding! Happy New Year!!