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Thursday, June 16, 2005

If I had my way...

Windows would be a lot more fun. A few things that I think I would just have to change or add on:
  • Automatic updates of all your favorite porn site listings. Why fool around? We all know that the main thing that the internet is good for is porn surfing! Hell yeah!
  • Make an R-Rated version available with different error messages, instead of something like "File Access Denied" you would get instead, "No Way, Fucker!".
  • "Start" button? Too Lame! Label it "Start this Mofo'" instead.
  • "Please Wait" LOL Gimme a break, name that one "Gimme a Minute Fuckhead While I Dig Thru This Pile of Crap!"
  • "Recycle Bin" would become the "Dumpster". Why would you be worried about recycling freekin' electrons?
  • Replace that stupid hourglass with a little hand giving you the birdfinger while you wait or maybe some tiny little porn action for you to watch instead. Selectable for male/female of course!
  • Instead of "Windows Update" name it "This shit is full of security holes AGAIN, m'therfucker, PATCH THIS BITCH UP!"
  • In your email, instead of "Block Sender" name that button instead to read "Kick This Piece of Shit Spam Off My Fucking PC Forever!"
  • Design a program that automatically finds the HOME email of spammers and sends them a thousand nasty emails with photos of their wives taking on a donkey in Tijuana or their husbands taking it up the ass with every guy in a gay bar and then it spreads through their email program, forwarding the pics to all the friends listed in their address book.
  • Instead of a confirmation message that says just simply "OK" it should read "Hell Yeah!" or "Fuck Yeah!" or how about "I have done your evil bidding, Master!"

Those are just a few that I can think of offhand, what modifications would you make to Windows if you ran the show?!?!