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Friday, November 25, 2005

When the going gets tough...

The tough go shopping! Yep, today will probably be the biggest shopping day of the entire year! I hope you got up early to catch all the crazy bargains to be found. If not, you could have called Target and scheduled a wake up call from Kermit the Frog so you don't miss out on the mad rush to buy everything in sight. A number of stores are reportedly giving away free gift cards in various amounts to people that arrived early. There are also reports of people getting free laptops at some Wal-Mart stores. These companies are just going nuts to lure people in to spend their last dimes.Those are nice incentives.

There have also been a number of incidents reported where shoppers have actually called the police to report people cutting in lines! How crazy is that? People purposely knocking packages out of each others arms and fist fights over prized bargains can only mean one thing! Make sure you are well armed when you go out there. I suggest a collapsible club hidden in your purse along with a couple cans of pepper spray for the really stubborn ones that just refuse to give it up! For the ultimate shopper stopper though you just can't beat a Tazer! A few thousand volts is guaranteed to have them flopping on the floor like a fish, making it a lot easier for you to cut the line or force them to drop all the goodies! Hell yeah!

What, me go shopping? Hah, are you crazy? I'm staying home and shopping online, them people scare the hell out of me!