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Sunday, December 12, 2004

Today Hardly Sucks At All

Not like usual days that suck just a little bit, gorgeous day outside, 70ish and sunny with a crisp feel in the air, gotta love that. Had to go out so I got my ass washed up and even shaved. For amusement I went to WalMart to gawk at the holiday crush and I was not disappointed. What fun! Even saw a few attractive women, but mostly the usual freak show, never fails to entertain me. Yah, I know, i'm easily entertained. I didn't buy anything there just browsed a bit. Stumbled across the big screen HDTV display area, what a sad joke that was. Very nice TV's but they were set up in a regular aisle and you couldn't get back more than 4 ft or so. How the hell can you watch a huge 50+ inch screen while standing right on top of it, tsk tsk. Oh well, time to go now, decided to head for the local mall, yeah that's the ticket, the mall!

Had to stop for gas, pulled in to an Exxon place with card machines built right in, love those, you don't even need to go in, it prints you a receipt on the spot.
So I punch in all my settings and feed it my card, fill up and wait for a receipt. What? NO RECEIPT! The thing said go inside for receipt. DAMN I yelled so loud I think Beelzebub dropped his flaming feather pen while signing up a new soul to keep. I frikkin hate (<---use lots of inflection here) when that happens. Inside there was a woman cashier that looked like she had been vomited up from hell knows where with smoke stained teeth and skin and badly mangled hair that probably hadn't seen a brush since she was queen of the New Jersey state fair in 1962 or something. Yah, major Wal Mart reject. Now I was really sorry I had to go in. I figured it couldn't get any worse so...

Off to the mall I went. I stopped in at the food court area. I think every mall has one of those? Probably all called the Food Court too, heh. I was in the mood for some S&M (spanish&mexican) so I got in line at the Taco Bell. Taco Bell is dirt cheap and decent food I really enjoy eating there. I once thought about working there, but I probably couldn't pass the taco bending exam. I tried doing it at home and broke every frikkin one! Anyway I noticed this nicely attractive woman several places in line behind me and decided I wanted to talk to her, I think she smiled at me, whoot! After I got my food I watched where she sat to see if she was attached and she was alone. Double whoot!! I noticed a trash bin near her table and after I was done I moved in to nonchalantly look for a ring. Damn! she had a ring on her left ring finger so I blew it off. Oh well.

I wandered off and was browsing in one of those specialty wacky gift stores for ideas for presents and stuff. I turned around and Bam! (sorry Emeril) there was the lady from Taco Bell right in my face. I said Hi and she said Hi back with a smile. Hmm I thought this was just too much of a coincidence to run in to her again in this huge mall pressed with hundreds of people. She had wandered off browsing and stuff and I decided to make a go. I thought for a few minutes and came up with a Farkin Brilliant Plan! I walked over to her and said Hi. (pretty brilliant huh). Exscuse me Miss but are you attached, I asked. She said yes, she was attached with a look that said too bad sailor, cause if I wasn't I would be jumpin your bones right here! (sorry err sometimes my imagination just runs around all by itself) She actually said No I'm sorry with a nice smile. Double Damn!! I said to myself. I was horribly disappointed so I decided to spend some money to feel better. So I wandered off and ran into...

Frank Davis! He was signing books at the B. Dalton book store. He is the local guru of ragin cajun cooking and fishing and other ex french-canadien pastimes. Cajuns will eat anything, especially if it lives in a swamp, swims backwards or walks sideways. He has a lil' TV show on the news. The book is titled Frank Davis Cooks Naturally N'Awlins. I bought a copy for a gift for someone and had him sign it with a dedication. Too cool, too cool. The day was suckin far less now and I stopped at a jewelry kiosk and bought myself a new ring. Big and gaudy silver with cryptic symbols pressed in and the center rotates around the body so you can play with it while wearing it. Ok now the suckiness was almost gone. I figured a new CD would really get me crankin' so I picked up a copy of Lacuna Coil's new burn. Never heard of them? They sound sort of like a gothic mix of Metallica and Type O Negative with a female vocalist. Really rocks, and the female lead singer has a really great haunting voice. I like haunting voices! I am listening to it right now, very moving. So I headed home from the mall and as I pulled into the driveway I thought about this woman that lives across the street. Single and attractive, shoulder length light brown hair and green eyes. I been meaning to talk to her but never seemed to see her much, very few opportunities. So...

I walked over and knocked on her front door, yah, just like that. She asked who I was cause we never met before so I introduced myself and said I just came over to err say Hi and stuff, yeah. She turned out to be pretty cool. We sat out on the veranda and talked, she drank iced tea and I drank nothing. (actually it was more like a front porch but I always wanted to slip the word veranda in a sentence somewhere, cool huh) She told me her husband died of cancer 16 months ago and she was sort of aimless and hanging with friends for fun, no dating yet. We chatted for a bit and got the usual formalities out of the way, and we made a date for lunch this wednesday!! Triple whoot!!! oh and a Bam! for good measure. (sorry again Emeril) Anyway, now, all the suckiness is totally gone and the day turned out pretty cool. Hope you guys had just as much fun.
Keep tha faith!