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Friday, December 10, 2004

Nuthin' but rednecks and stuff

I got nothing, really I don't. I love how Mr. Hands says he has nothing then ends up turning it into something. All I got today is dumbass redneck style jokes. If you already heard all the redneck jokes don't bother to read further.

911 operator: Hello what is your emergency?
redneck: Oh my god! me and my buddy was huntin' and my shotgun went off and hit my friend and I think he is dead. What can I do?
911 operator: Well sir, first thing is to make sure that he is dead.
redneck: ok hangon ( moments later a shot rings out)
redneck: ok he's dead. now whut?

police officer: Sir I pulled you over because you were speeding. Give me your license and registration.
redneck: Officer, you are wrong, I wasn't speeding, I never speed.
rednecks wife: Don't lie to the man, you always speed on this road!
redneck: Hush up you, let me handle this!
police officer: Sir I also noticed you weren't wearing a seatbelt, I will have to write a ticket for that as well.
redneck: Officer, I was wearing my seatbelt, I just unhooked it to get my wallet out.
rednecks wife: There you go lieing to that police officer again. You're going to burn in hell!
redneck: Shut up woman, or you'll be sorry when we get home!
police officer: Exscuse me ma'am, does your husband always treat you like that?
rednecks wife: No sir, only when he's been drinking.

And now for something completely different. (credit monty python) There is a website called Operation Truth that features blog posts from soldiers in Iraq at the front lines. They use them to stay in touch with family and friends, often Mom at home knows what's going on over there before it comes on the news. Very interesting stuff to read about what's going on in their head with their life on the line daily. Enjoy