Gap Toothed Wonders

Sometimes I wonder why certain celebrities don't bother with getting their teeth fixed. With all the money and free time that they have you would think a trip to the dentist would be in order to get their ugly teeth squared away. Are these people that afraid of dentists? I like watching David letterman once in a while and everytime the camera goes in for a close up on his late show I do a double take thinking he has a huge hunk of spinach caught between his front teeth.

There's really no excuse for going around looking like that Dave, they make clear plastic braces these days and you can easily take them out and you could wear them during the show's off season. Get them choppers fixed dude!


Another one with an apparent dental phobia is Eddie Murphy. Damn Eddie, you can drive a small truck thru that huge gap in your teeth. Sure it would take some mighty powerful braces to pull them suckers in line but it would be well worth it in the long run. Go to a freekin' dentist man, run now!

This last one is the one that bugs me the most I think. I've never thought that Madonna was all that attractive to start with, and she can use all the help she can get in my opinion. Maybe she thinks the gap toothed look is her trademark, since she is rather non-descript in her appearance, maybe she's afraid that no one would recognize her anymore if she got those front teeth back in line.

I don't think that's a good enough excuse though, I think she needs to haul her ass down to the nearest dentist and get some nice big braces slapped on her chiclets. I'm sure it would be a whole lot easier eating corn on the cob too! What do you guys think?

When the going gets tough...

The tough go shopping! Yep, today will probably be the biggest shopping day of the entire year! I hope you got up early to catch all the crazy bargains to be found. If not, you could have called Target and scheduled a wake up call from Kermit the Frog so you don't miss out on the mad rush to buy everything in sight. A number of stores are reportedly giving away free gift cards in various amounts to people that arrived early. There are also reports of people getting free laptops at some Wal-Mart stores. These companies are just going nuts to lure people in to spend their last dimes.Those are nice incentives.

There have also been a number of incidents reported where shoppers have actually called the police to report people cutting in lines! How crazy is that? People purposely knocking packages out of each others arms and fist fights over prized bargains can only mean one thing! Make sure you are well armed when you go out there. I suggest a collapsible club hidden in your purse along with a couple cans of pepper spray for the really stubborn ones that just refuse to give it up! For the ultimate shopper stopper though you just can't beat a Tazer! A few thousand volts is guaranteed to have them flopping on the floor like a fish, making it a lot easier for you to cut the line or force them to drop all the goodies! Hell yeah!

What, me go shopping? Hah, are you crazy? I'm staying home and shopping online, them people scare the hell out of me!

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Dash Sheetrock

That's my new nickname. Remember that hapless Hollywood movie star character named Dash Riprock from the old Beverly Hillbillies show? I used to love that show, even today it still has it's hilarious moments. I always have to laugh whenever I hear that name too, Dash Riprock, a very goofy name . Except, I don't feel like a movie star! All last week I've been tearing the lower half of all the damaged walls out of the house, mostly sheetrock and paneling in some of the rooms. First you have to pry all the moldings and trim away and pull all of those nails. The paneling goes from floor to ceiling though.

About half of it is done now, and what a dirty, nasty, dusty job it is. The stuff was very moldy (which was killed by spraying a bleach and water mixture on it) and the part that was wet crumbles pretty easily but further up near the center of the wall it's pretty hard to pull out. After you get that stuff down then you have to pull out every individual nail that was holding it to the studs in the wall. And then after that you have to haul it all out to the curb in front of the house. A major pain in the ass!

Click images for larger.

Above: Living Room

Above: Front Hallway

Above: Downstairs Bedroom

Above: View from the kitchen, normally you can't see the bathroom toilet from the kitchen area but you can now! LOL

The way things are going I'll estimate that it will take as much as a year to get the house back in order. We've had surveyers come out to check on the how much the house has sunken into the ground as a result of the huge tree that was leaning on the back wall and the ground being flooded and saturated. The house has sunk quite a bit to the rear, you can actually see it very easily and when you walk thru the main hallway from front to rear it is immediately noticeable that you are going uphill!

The entire slab will have to be raised as much as 3 feet to put it above the new flood plane that they have set for our area and that will have to be completed before all of the interior walls and insulation and kitchen cabinets are replaced. This is going to be a major reconstruction of the entire lower floor of the house. Things are gonna be crazy around here for a long time, what a life changing event Katrina has become. I know I'll be glad when it's all over.

Gimme Back My Skinny

Yeah, I'm on a diet. I want my skinny back dammit! Well, actually that's not exactly true because I've never been what you would call "slim", maybe trim is a better term to describe my body size when I'm on an upswing. My weight has always been a wild rollercoaster ride, I go thru periods of several years where I work out and exercise regularly and I carefully watch my calorie intake. Then I get sick of that shit and let it all hang out, literally, for a couple years till I get sick of being a fat pig and I decide to take it off again. And so it goes, up and down, like a giant pendulum swing all through my adult life.

Right now I'm in a low spot though and I've been dieting and exercising again for the past couple weeks and I'm definitely not satisfied with the crappy results. I think I need to lose about 15 - 20 lbs of ugly fat (chopping my head off is not an option, smartass!) and it just ain't happening in spite of nearly starving myself! Gahh!! Basically, I've just been eating less (much less) and laying off the sweets (chocolate mostly) and a medium workout 3 - 4 times a week including weight training through which I've lost only a few pounds and no inches. Yes, I know that muscle weighs much more than fat and my muscles are definitely showing the difference but my waistline isn't shrinking! Fuck that!

Then I started thinking about all the crazy diets that I've used over the years to drop my weight back down to an acceptable level and I'm wondering if any of them would be suitable for me to use now. Here's a few of them, what do you guys think:

• The All Veggie Diet, that's basically eating lots of green salads with a light honey mustard dressing, lots of straight canned vegetables like corn, peas, green beans and lots of beer. I've lost a lot of weight using this one in the past, I once lost 30 lbs in a single month! I kinda like this one actually, may have to skip the beer part though.
• The Pop Tart and Cheetos Diet, this one is a lot of fun, a couple of Pop Tarts for breakfast and munch out on Cheetos all day long chased down with lots of beer. I can't remember if I actually lost any weight on it though, maybe I was too drunk to care or notice. I may have to scratch that one because my budget doesn't include beer, hmmm.
• Oreos and Beer, this one is also a lot of fun, me and a buddy that I worked with years ago would occasionally grab a 12 pack of Buds and a big bag of Oreos right after a long hard day at the shop. You would think it would be a terrible taste combination but it was very good! Especially the beers. I don't recall actually losing weight on this one either though, ok we can scratch this one then.
• The Tacos and Bud 12 pack diet, this diet consists of exactly that, a 12 pack of Tacos from Taco Bell and a 12 pack of Buds. No weight loss, but you get pretty damn drunk! I guess some of my diets aren't really all that good. I may have to rethink this whole diet plan idea.

I did a little web searching for diets and I came across an article where this guy in New Zealand is asking people to donate their fat from liposuction to help him win a race. He claims he can have the fat refined into some type of fuel that will power a boat called the Earthrace which cost $2.6 million to construct and has a top speed of 50 knots! A typical liposuction operation can yield as much as 3kg of fat. Once refined that amount could produce three litres of refined biofuel, enough to drive his Earthrace boat 2km. Now if we could just find a way to power cars with that stuff and somebody could come up with a cheap home liposuction kit. We could all eat like pigs and power our cars and trucks with clean fuel and with less guilt and look damn good doing it too! Hell yeah!

Fridge Bombers

One particularly offensive thing that has been going on here since Katrina is the use of discarded refrigerators as WMD's That's short for Weapons of Mass Distinktion. Most people, after returning to their previously flooded homes have not bothered to empty the horribly rotten and extremely smelly food from the fridge, stuff that was sealed inside of a hot, closed box for weeks on end. You can't imagine the stench, trust me on that. They just wrap some duct tape around the damn things and roll them out to the curb to be picked up by special crews that come around every 2 or 3 weeks. They are then taken to a special dump where the EPA is recycling the Freon refrigerant out of them for reuse, Freon is listed as a pollutant that can damage the ozone layer. It's become an overwhelming task, the number of fridges expected to be dumped number in the 100's of thousands!


Apparently, quite a few people don't want their stink bomb sitting out in front of their own home so they've taken to sneaking out at night and dumping them in front of other people's homes, and businesses, especially if there is already a fridge out front. If you put your fridge out front you may end up with 2 or 3 or more, like it's an open invitation to dump! And not just there either, they've also been showing up dumped at dead end streets and worst of all the local parks!

I was reading about one incident where a dumper was spotted late at night rolling his fridge down the sidewalk and left it in front of another family's home and the person that spotted him ratted him out to the home owner. They got together and brought the man's fridge back the following night and then the whole thing snowballed with more neighbors getting in on dumping their fridge at the original offenders house. Eventually the police was called to stop the fridge wars escalation, I don't think anyone was charged but it was a lot of fun to read about!

Some people have nerve don't they? What would you do if you saw someone drive off after dumping a fridge in front of your house? hehe

Dog Town News

New Orleans Unprepared

While surveying the city for damage to the levee system, the Army Corps of Engineers have discovered that New Orleans is totally unprepared for the event of glaciers encroaching on the entire metropolitan city area. Teams of engineers were immediately dispatched by Thad Allen, head of FEMA, to investigate this new and dangerous threat to the Big Easy. "We will get to the bottom of this." he claimed in one interview. He also promised that FEMA will give New Orleans all the aid necessary to ensure that glaciers will never become a permanent fixture in southern Louisiana. As an emergency measure he approved the immediate distribution of 750,000 ice picks, and 1.5 million snow parkas to local residents. When asked about camp stoves, kerosene and tents he said they are currently "looking into it".

Mayor Ray Nagin, when asked to comment, replied "This situation is nothing new, we've known about the possiblity of glaciers overunning our city for many years and have had local engineers working on the problem since I first took office." To prove it he showed an artists rendering of a system he calls "GEDS" which is short for Glacier Encroachment Defense System.

Above: artists rendering

Nagin explained that the system, expected to cost between 8 and 10 billion dollars, can be fully funded from taxes collected from the local gambling casinos and the lottery system. "This system uses the suns energy collected into a series of giant parabolic mirrors and reflects it at the front end of approaching glaciers, melting the ice. Not only will the energy source be free but it will also provide plenty of fresh drinking water for the entire city. We will also expect to have an over abundance of fresh water that we will be able to sell to neighboring states for a small, but tidy profit" he claimed.

© Dog Town News

Post Katrina Tour

I've been curious about how well the French Quarter has been doing since Katrina and I finally decided it was time to go see for myself. I headed out with my camera about 10am this morning and decided to stroll around for a few hours, take some pics, and maybe have a bite to eat. Click all the images for a larger version!

Above: I had heard the Cafe Du Monde was reopened and were serving 24 hrs a day again. No way could I go down to the quarter without stopping in for a snack!

Above: Ahhh, cafe au lait and beignets! Damn this shit is good! Don't inhale when you try to get a steaming hot bite of one of those powdered sugar coated confections! It goes right into your nose and lungs and you can often see the unprepared patrons gagging and choking when they try to take a bite! hahaha

Above: This area in front of Jackson Square is usually crammed with artists hawking all kinds of works, prints, paintings and crafts. Totally deserted today. I wonder how it is on a weekend? Hmmm.

Above: I just had to get a picture of this interesting sign, you would think it might be a bar or music venue but it was actually just another crappy souvenir shop.

Above: I wanted to eat lunch here but they were closed in spite of the sign saying they were open. Central Grocery is supposedly the inventors of the original muffelata sandwich, man those are so good!

Above: This statue of Joan of Arc just cracked me up, the plaque on the base says it was a "gift" from France! This fucking thing was so goddamned gaudy looking I thought it was some kind of tribute to a dead gay frenchman or someshit. No doubt they either thought it was too ugly to display in their own country or they regifted it from Germany to us! And, I was surprised it had such a teeny, tiny little cock for a stallion!

Above: This photo is for Cootera, her favorite N.O. watering hole when she comes to town. The Chart Room was open! Yay! Of course, I just had to stop in for a little refreshment! The place was still in it's horribly dilapidated condition that gives it all it's cool and relaxing atmosphere, the cheap drinks are a big plus too! The only real damage I noticed was all the cloth awnings outside were missing.

Above: This photo is for Laurie, this is her favorite hotspot and karaoke bar when she comes to N.O. I'm sorry, but the Cats Meow hasn't reopened and there was no indication on the outside as to when it might. It didn't really look damaged except for the neon sign missing.

Above: This photo is for Jeanette who is so fond of talking about passing gas, I just happened to notice the book in a shop window and snapped a shot of it!

Above: This shot shows some of the worst damage that I saw down there during my little walking tour, not too bad! I know there was shitloads of cleanup being done since Katrina and it showed. The streets were reasonably clean and garbage free for the most part.

Above: The No Longer Super Dome, it actually looked pretty good, they've been working feverishly to repair the roof and it looked all finished from what I could see. I understand the interior is in pretty sorry shape though and won't be ready to reopen till next year some time. The last time I was inside this place was back in the freekin' late 70's! I went there to see the Stones and some totally unknown band at the time called Van Halen. That concert was the first time the dome had ever sold out in spite of the NFL having played there for like 5 seasons previous! Yeah, the Saints suck ass, always have always will! LOL

I also made a short video clip while I was there today, it's not all that great and my camera is made for stills, not video and I certainly ain't no Cecil B. De Speilberg or anything but it's kinda cool if ya wanna check it out!

Or you can download it here.

Have fun!!

Keep on Blogging in the Free World...

Things change, sometimes for the good. Sometimes, not. I hope that moving this old blog will be a good one. I never did like the old URL, "spotsy" what the fuck was that about, you might ask. When I first set it up I tried quite a few different names that I liked (like 20) and they were all taken, so, I got pissed and I started typing in silly shit just to see what would work. Spotsy popped into my head for some strange reason (must have been sunspots) and I dropped it in and it worked! Out of sheer frustration I kept it, promising myself to change it somewhere along the way and I never did, till now!

Now I'm thinking about a name change as well, anyone have any good suggestions? I have a few possibilities in mind:

• Meat Puppet Master
• Dead Dogs Tell No Lies
• Blogger King
• This Old Blog
• Seven in Dog Years
• Dain Bramage
• Coffee, Tea or Blog
• Smells Like Ass
• Sordid Tales by Seven
• Seven's Silly Shit
• Stupendous, the Blog
• Been There, Done That, Got the T-Shirt, Didn't Stay for the Hat
• Green Eggs and Ham (this one may be taken already)
• As the Blog Turns

Those are just a few that passed thru my head, I'm sure you guys can come up with even better ones than that! Or just vote for your favorite. Hell, I might even award a prize to someone that comes up with something really cool!

Magz

I'm sure you all realize that the last post was total BS, just a freeky, scary little story I concocted for Halloween day. I need to tell you though that Magz is seriously in a world of hurt right now, she was involved in a nasty horsewreck the other day and needed some serious medical attention. She will be OK though, I talked to her on the phone last night, some rest and healing time will have her good as new, eventually. Go over and offer up some sympathy for her if you would, she sure could use it! She has a post up explaining more about what happened with a picture to boot! Go ahead over there, I'll wait right here.

Now, on to the true story! Meeting Magz was quite an experience for me, she's sweet and wild and a bit crazy and kind and generous to a fault, will give you the shirt off her back, which she literally did when she realized I had hardly any clothes with me from my New Orleans evacuation (I especially like the black Las Vegas Harley Davidson T-shirt). She's also a liar, see, she doesn't watch much television, she has one but, she only watches video tapes or dvds on it. She lives too far away from all the TV stations to be able to pick up anything worth a shit over the air and cable is unavailable to her. She knew I was extremely worried about the ongoing disaster unfolding in New Orleans so she rented a local motel room for us to stay in the first 4 days/nights I was there so I could watch all the news channels on their satellite hookup. The story she gave me though was that she knew the people there so well that she only had to pay for one day (about $40) and they would let us stay for several days.

I learned the truth however when I checked out and they handed me the receipt for the lodging and they had charged her credit card the full $40 for each day! I was pissed that she had tricked me, but, bless her heart she knew I didn't have the money for it and she was just being very sympathetic to my situation! Or, maybe it was that she just wanted the use of the motel pool which she spent quite a bit of time playing in! hehe Probably a combination of both, either way I will be eternally grateful for it.

I ended up staying there about a week and a half before heading back towards Fort Worth. I got to know her two dogs really well, Blanche and Holly Davidson, two very sweet and loving Rottweilers. We also had a lot of fun in the meantime, visiting Tombstone (which I already wrote about) was a kick in the ass. Tombstone is only about 25 miles from her home. It's a tourist trap yes, but it has a cool atmosphere about it, it wasn't very crowded either and the shops have some really unique stuff. The old west saloons were a lot of fun too. I really loved the way the local population all dressed the part of being residents of an old western town. I was also treated to some of the best mexican food ever at one of the local restaurants, yeah we ate way too much!

Overall I had a really great time visiting Magz and checking out Arizona and desert life in spite of being worried about what was going on with my family and the house in New Orleans. I did get to share a large portion of my music collection with her, left her some copies of my favorite software and showed her how to use it and I taught her a bunch of shit about her computer, which she probably has forgotten by now! LOL If you ever get invited to visit Maggiez Farm you really should go!

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Yeah, I was getting pretty tired of the creepy Halloween template, I was having a lot of trouble waiting for Halloween to pass before I changed the look of my blog! But this just looks too damn plain!! I need some ideas on a new look! Anyone have any suggestions? hehe

I've recently completed a few new templates for other people though, if you wanna check them out: View From the Fairway, Fugetaboutit and Thoughts That Keep Me Awake are all very cool and great bloggers too! Give em a read and tell em I sent ya! Hell yeah!